File photo of a worried man
Dear GhanaWeb,
I’ve been married for over six years now, with two children. My wife left me two years ago, she said she was tired and needed a break from the marriage. At the times, she had a job that was paying her to abandon us.
She left the children with me because, according to her, our marriage was not allowing her focus on her job since her career was important to her.
She eventually went to rent somewhere else and I took care of the children, balance it with my job. Occasionally, she would come home to see the children, but treated me like I didn’t matter. For the over two years she was away, she had no respect for me. We never got intimate and she never cared about that.
Few months ago, she lost that same job she chose over us. She couldn’t tell me but I heard about it from a mutual friend. Her rent was also due for expiration in two months. Guess who’s trying to be a wife again? So funny!
She’s begging me to accept her back to my home because the children need her. She involved her family and everyone has seen how I’ve singlehandedly taken care of the kids for over two years without their mother. This same woman told me some time ago that if I mentioned the children to her like that, she would return my dowry if that’s what would give her the liberty to work and stay away from us.
For two years, she never asked how I got satisfied sexually as a man. She never cooked nor cleaned in this house. Just because of her GH₵6000 monthly salary. If that’s what it takes, I shouldn’t be married because as at when she left, I was earning GH₵15000 minus my fuel allowance. I supported her, I cooked and cleaned the house when it mattered.
I never intimidated her and I committed GH₵5000 of my salary into her account monthly, yet I still covered other expenses at home. When she started this, I didn’t know what to do and I felt so disappointed but not anymore. My life is aligned and balanced with my goals. I handled the children and worked fine with no one’s help, not even a nanny.
I’m seeing someone but it’s just for sex and that rarely happens because most times, I’m engaged with the children or house chores. I haven’t told the children their mother is bad when they ask about her; I rather always said good things about her.
Accepting her back because the job is no more and she can’t afford to live on her own is my problem. What happens if she gets the job back? I told my family the marriage is over already because she couldn’t stay loyal to me when she got money. I cried to her from the beginning because I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. I offered to increase the money I give her monthly but she didn’t consider us.
I feel we are happy without her and everything is falling in place. Her family has been begging me to accept her but I don’t want to. Am I being fair? I just hope no one calls me a bad person because at this point, I’m confused on what to do. Should I accept her back? Or, should I go ahead with the planned divorce?
FG/AE
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