File photo of a worried woman
Dear GhanaWeb,
I’m a married woman, 24 weeks pregnant, and facing a difficult situation with my husband. We have two children, and this pregnancy is unexpected. It is our third.
My husband said he only wanted two children, and this pregnancy was a mistake. We weren’t planning it, and I thought I was safe, but it turns out I wasn’t.
When I found out, I immediately told him, and he asked me to terminate the pregnancy.
I refused, not because we couldn’t care for three children, but we’re both financially stable.
He is a chartered accountant and branch manager of a well-known bank, and I’m a dentist, just beginning my career after graduating last year.
We have a large home, separate cars, and savings in our accounts. We could afford to care for many children if we chose to.
Although I initially only wanted two children as well, this pregnancy happened, and I don’t think abortion is an option for me.
I’ve never had one, and I don’t feel it’s right to do so now that I’m married.
I begged my husband to allow us to keep the baby, but his answer has been a firm “no” from the beginning.
Over time, his behaviour has become more aggressive. He has started hitting me, ignoring me for days, and not engaging with the children.
He comes home late and leaves early, sometimes not returning at all, telling the children to say he won’t be back. It’s been months since we’ve shared a moment of peace or connection.
I’ve even offered to take full responsibility for the child, assuring him I would handle everything on my own without asking for his financial help.
All I want is for the child to know him as their father, but he continues to say no.
He insists that I either terminate the pregnancy or face the consequences.
I’ve brought in elders to mediate, but he remains firm in his decision. I’m in shock at how he has reacted to this situation. It feels like everything is falling apart.
I’m afraid that if this continues, our marriage may end, and I don’t want that.
I haven’t seen my husband smile or engage with me or the kids in over five months, and when I try to talk to him, he becomes violent, something he has never done in our six years of marriage.
I feel like I’m losing him, and I’m scared of what will happen next. I’m now regretting not terminating the pregnancy earlier, but I know it’s too late for that.
I’m afraid this child, who is supposed to bring joy, might end up tearing our family apart.
Did I handle this situation wrongly? What should I do now? I need help.
FG/EB
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