File photo of a confused woman
Dear GhanaWeb,
I am in a very difficult and painful situation, and I feel completely lost. For over ten years, I have been involved in an affair with my pastor. I don’t even know who the father of my children is, and I am deeply troubled by the path my life has taken.
It all began when I moved to Accra thirteen years ago, at the age of twenty-two, hoping to start a new life.
I joined a fast-growing church, and soon after, I managed to secure a single room and a job as a receptionist at a hotel. I joined the church choir and worked hard to stay involved in every activity. Being far from my family, the church became my second family, and I was determined to establish strong connections within it.
Around eight months after I arrived in Accra, I met a gentleman from my ethnic group, Ewe, and we fell in love. We dated for about a year, but he eventually broke my heart.
Feeling devastated, I turned to my pastor for support. That’s when everything took a turn. He offered to connect me with one of his spiritual sons in the UK who was also looking for a partner. He spoke highly of me and convinced me that this connection was the right thing to do.
Things moved quickly from there. The pastor shared my contact details with the man, and after getting to know each other, we started a long-distance relationship.
After about four months, we began discussing marriage, with plans for him to return in the sixth month so we could settle down. I shared the news with my pastor, hoping for his blessing.
That was when my pastor began blackmailing me. He told me that he would stop the marriage because he believed another sister from the church was a more reliable match.
When I asked him what he would tell the man about me, he claimed that he felt there was still a connection between me and my ex.
Then he made an offer that if I sleep with him, he will overlook the situation.
I was in a long-distance relationship and was deeply in love with the man I was planning to marry.
I thought I could trust my pastor, and I believed he had my best interests at heart. So, I gave in, thinking it would be a one-time thing, but I was wrong. That one encounter led to more, and it has continued ever since.
I don’t understand what has happened to me. I feel a deep emotional and physical attachment to my pastor that consumes me even after I married the man I wanted.
No matter what I do, I find myself yearning for him, and this has affected my marriage and my relationship with my children.
After every encounter, I feel hatred toward him, telling myself it will be the last time. But days later, the cycle starts again, and I feel desperate and confused.
I’ve tried to talk to my man about leaving this church, but he insists on staying. It’s been ten years, and I am afraid this situation is tearing my family apart. My first child is almost ten, and I’m now 35 years old. I can’t keep living like this. I have lost my spiritual life, and I don’t know how to break free from this toxic cycle.
I feel like I am losing everything, and I need help. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I am deeply conflicted. Please, if anyone has been through something similar or has advice on how to find a way out, I would be grateful for your support.
FG/EB
Watch the latest compilation of Twi news below:
Watch as Ghanaians share their views on National Cathedral project, cutting down of ministries: